This poem (?) is posted in my oncologist’s treatment room, at least the one that I always go into, it may be in every room. I was in this room many times before and I had probably read this poem a couple of times. This particular day was different because chemo was a reality now, […]
What Cancer Cannot Do Read More »
One of the challenges we faced after my first chemo infusions was fall break. I had my first infusion October 9 and fall break was October 11-20. I was so scared of how I was going to be feeling during that time period. I was hopeful that I would be able to be a caretaker
Pain is weird. It’s terrible to experience, especially when the pain is extreme. I have had my fair share of pain, but none of it felt like the pain I experienced on October 14, 2024. It came on me slowly, growing steadily until I could ignore it no longer. I had gotten pretty good at
I have no idea if I ate, who watched my kids or much of what I did prior to arriving at my first Chemotherapy appointment. I do remember preparing. Packing the perfect chemotherapy bag and preparing for any possible scenario by filling it with as many activities as I could find myself wanting. I had
Chemotherapy – Round 1 Read More »
This was my second surgery in one month. It was smaller than the first one, most are, so it surprised me with how traumatic it was. The main reason I got a port was to minimize the amount of times I was going to have to be poked by a needle. The port allows the
The boys were turning 5 on October 2nd and Chris was turning 40 on October 5th. All really big birthdays that I wanted to celebrate. All really big birthdays that I’d been planning in my head for months. Everything had to be canceled. No parties this year, mom has cancer… We usually do a big
The Boy’s Birthdays Read More »
I loved the idea of doing something out of the ordinary with my hair before it all fell out because of chemo, I just loved it. It felt like a “fuck you” to the treatments that were going to save my life but in the process of saving me make me sicker than I’ve ever
I know it was probably delusional but I was holding out hope that maybe somehow I would be able to skip chemo. See? Delusional. I remember going to my first post op oncologist appointment, it was a beautiful fall day and my bestie Emily picked me up in her new SUV. Still being freshly post
I’ve been struggling to put words to what it was like the days after my surgery. I find that I’m struggling to put all of this to words because I have to look some trauma in the eye. I’ve been giving myself grace and writing about this experience, telling this story, when my body has
How It Felt In My Body – Post Surgery Recovery Read More »
I met Rebecca when I was an awkward, insecure, 22 year old newly wed working at a day spa. Rebecca was a patron of the day spa and scheduled a 1 hour massage once a week. I remember the first time I saw her, she was exiting the spa area where she received her massage
